Monday, August 9, 2010

Konnar and Amanda Save Grass Shoot - NRock

Konnar and Amanda pushed on past the lake, MCC loppers in hand. They had been hiking the Alpine 7 trail for three days, cutting braches and pine trees to clear the path for other users. They rounded a corner and suddenly a giant tree confronted them, blocking their way with its tangled branches. Determined trail workers that they were, they knew they would have to climb over the tree to continue their job. They hoisted themselves up onto the trunk and began forcing their way past branches. As they navigated past each branch, the foliage grew denser and they lost sight of the path beyond. After several minutes of battling twigs and leaves, they emerged into a small clearing in an unfamiliar forest with only their packs and PPE.

Feeling somewhat disoriented, but by now used to strange adventures in the woods, they hastened to take note of their new surroundings. At the edge of the clearing was a cluster of strange trees the two had never seen. “If only Jedd were here; he would know what this crazy tree is,” Amanda mused. Konnar hesitantly approached the nearest tree and noticed a bubbling gold sap leaking out of the trunk. He began to lean in closer to investigate when a bee flew in front of him towards the tree. Suddenly, a jet of golden sap hit the bee in midair. The bee flashed neon purple, emitted a high pitched squeal, and was vaporized. “Woah!” Konnar exclaimed, jumping backwards. He and Amanda began running through the forest, hoping to return to a familiar path and escape the range of the trees. They crashed through brush and jumped over roots, hardly paying attention to where they were going they were so preoccupied with dodging the flying sap.

Their luck could only hold out for so long. As he clambered over a tall pile of rocks, Konnar caught a blast of sap on his arm. He screamed and tried to shake off the goo for several seconds before he realized that he had not vaporized. Amanda stopped running and stared in amazement at the still-existent Konnar. A butterfly wafted in with a breeze and landed on Konnar’s arm. It paused to lick the golden sap. Again there was a flash of neon purple light and a shrieking noise as the butterfly disappeared. Konnar and Amanda realized that the sap was only deadly if it got beyond the skin, so they donned their gloves and safety glasses, inserted their earplugs, tied their bandannas over their noses and mouths, and continued their crashing course through the trees.

Up ahead the two glimpsed an opening in the trees and ran for it. Amanda tripped right at the edge of the clearing and went flying into the center of the glade. Brushing herself off, she saw that she had stumbled over a broken pair of loppers. She also noticed that the trees with the golden sap were nowhere to be found within this little circle of trees. She and Konnar tried to put the loppers back together, figuring they might be a good weapon against the trees, but they were missing a nut. Amanda was looking around for a non-evil tree that might offer some good sap for sticking the loppers back together when, out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw movement. She jumped and grabbed the broken loppers, pointing them ahead of her. Konnar looked up and saw only an old stump. “It looked like a person for a second,” Amanda explained, uncertainly.

The two approached the stump and saw silvery glitter sap trickling down the side. Taking one half of the loppers, Amanda poked at the sap, intending to see how sticky and useful it might be. Konnar stood back a bit, remembering well his near-death experience with the golden sap. “Tee hee, that tickles!” the stump giggled. Suddenly, instead of an old stump, there was a forest nymph sitting in front of the stunned MCCers.

“However did you make it to my enchanted glade?” the nymph queried. “Enchanted glade?” they responded, surprised (though perhaps unjustifiable so, considering they had just run for their lives from trees shooting jets of golden sap). “We were just lopping like good MCCers when we got lost is this crazy forest.” They explained their struggle and the nymph, who introduced herself as Sylva, told them that the forest had been impassable for ages due to the presence of the Sap Spouters and Vile Vines. Konnar and Amanda glanced at each other at the mention of another danger that they had, so far, unwittingly escaped. “How do we get out of here?” they asked, not wanted to be trapped in a glade with a nymph-sometimes-stump forever. “All we have is this broken pair of loppers.”

Sylva explained that there was a Golden Nut that would fix the loppers but that it had been lost years ago. “It has to be somewhere in this glade, but there are just so many sticks on the ground, I’ve never seen it,” she lamented. “Oh, don’t worry about sticks,” said Amanda. “We’re experts at picking up sticks.” She and Konnar quickly began clearing the glade, tossing sticks to the side until they had a big pile. They had been working for an hour and still hadn’t found the Golden Nut. There was only a small patch of sticks left and they began to suspect that perhaps Sylva just wanted something to clean the glade for her. Finally, under the very last branch, Konnar spotted the glint of the magical hardware. He snatched up the nut and hastily attached the two halves of the loppers.

Konnar and Amanda shouted their thanks to Sylva over their shoulders as they dashed back into the forest, golden loppers in hand. Konnar managed to lop only a few branches off the nearest Sap Spouter however, before the Golden Nut (which had not been tightened properly) popped off and went rolling into some brush. Almost immediately a strand of Vile Vine appeared from the canopy and twined itself around both Konnar and Amanda’s legs, flipping them upside down and hoisting them into the air. As the vines crept further and further, they vainly attempted to slash them with the broken loppers.

Out of the corner of her eye Amanda saw something move in the brush. A mouse emerged from under a branch with the Golden Nut in his mouth. Konnar and Amanda motioned wildly, trying to coax the mouse towards them. Strangely enough, the mouse seemed to understand them, for it ran to the nearest vine and scampered up. Konnar grabbed the Gold Nut, screwed the two halves of the loppers together tightly, and cut himself down from the Vile Vine. He freed Amanda too and the two of them ran, lopping their way through the forest. Gradually the groups of Sap Spouters and Vine Vines thinned until they reached the edge of the forest.

They paused to catch their breath and noticed that the mouse had followed them. When he saw them staring he squeaked excitedly. “Hi there! I’m Nibbles! Some adventure we just had, eh?” He spoke quickly and in a high pitch that was almost painful to the ears. “You have saved the forest from the Sap Spouters and the Vile Vines! You are heroes. I must take you to the King. He will surely want to reward you.” Not being in any way opposed to rewards they felt they had earned, Amanda and Konnar agreed to follow Nibbles to the King.

Nibbles led them on a rather circuitous path through fields and over streams. “Don’t you think there has to be a faster way to the King?” Amanda whispered. But they didn’t want to offend their only guide in this strange world, so they kept their concern to themselves. After what seemed like hours, Nibbles led them up to the base of a tree. He squeaked something unintelligible and three other mice cautiously crept out to meet Konnar and Amanda. Nibbles introduced his wife, Yum-Yum, and his two children, Munchers and Snackers. He then began recounting their adventure in the forest, naturally giving himself a larger role than he had actually played. Amanda and Konnar listened bemusedly. When Nibbles go to the part about going to the King Yum-Yum interrupted, “You mean you told them you were going to the King and instead you led them all the way here and are making them sit around listening to you babble? Take them to the King as quickly as you can, my silly husband!”

They waved goodbye to Nibbles’ family and set off on a much more direct path to the King. Soon the castle was in sight as they neared the border of the town. All of a sudden, they saw a group of wild men coming down the hill and Nibbles hurried them off the road to the side of a bridge. The band of masked men passed them noisily and they saw that one man carried a small child in his arms. Nibbles explained that they were the Blithering Bandits who periodically raided the castle and terrorized the townspeople. When the got to the castle they briefly explained their story to the guard and were granted an immediate audience with the King.

King Treevine seemed a bit distracted, but he thanked them heartily for their services. Then he noticed the logos on their shirts and gasped. “Are you the MCC?” Amanda and Konnar nodded. “Well then no wonder you saved the forest! There has long been a prophecy that a great pair would arrive to be heroes in our land. In fact, we have something for you. Follow me.” He brought them through twisting hallways and up secret staircases to a small room at the top of a tower. He opened a cabinet in the wall and took out two gleaming golden hardhats with the MCC insignia encrusted in precious gems. “Don’t worry, they don’t weigh a thing,” King Treevine assured them. Next he pulled out two pairs of gloves, “made of the finest new synthetic material, sure to keep you hands warm and dry.” Finally, he unlocked another cabinet and revealed two incredible weapons. First, there was a silver sword engraved with the word “Thunder.” Konnar stepped forward to receive it. Second was a magnificent bow with a quiver full of multicolored arrows. “Made from the arc of a rainbow,” King Treevine said to explain the strange way the light played across the bow. “Well, I guess that’s for me,” shrugged Amanda happily.

“Now that you have received you due, I was hoping that you could help our realm with another problem,” King Treevine proclaimed. “Sure,” Amanda said, figuring they might as well keep working as long as they had no idea where they were. “You see, those blasted Blithering Bandits kidnapped my son, Grass-Shoot, this morning. I imagined they will soon make a ransom request. Please, could you get him back? I would be willing to give you two white mares for reliable transportation.” When Konnar asked where to find the bandits, King Treevine explained that they lived hidden in the Horrible Hills, though he couldn’t say exactly where. “But, there is one man who knows. He has a long name that no one can ever quite remember, but they call him Jedi. He swings on trees and sleeps on a dolmar. He lives in the Cavernous Caves at the base of the Menacing Mountains. He wants to build a raft but, because of the Sap Spouters and Vile Vines, has been trapped on the other side of the forest, away from all the good raftwood.”

The next thing they knew, Konnar and Amanda found themselves outside the castle walls. “Well, what do we do now?” Konnar asked, realizing that the King, in his worry over his son, had neglected to give them much useful information. “Don’t worry, I know where we can find some good raftwood,” squeaked Nibbles as he scampered along the horse’s saddle to lead the way.

When the three got to the raftwood forest they were surrounded by sturdy, tall, straight trees, perfect for building lake-worthy craft. However, they soon realized they had a significant problem. Their golden loppers were too small to tackle the trees and ever Konnar’s Thunder sword was no match for them. In addition, one of the white mares stopped running and refused to move any farther. They couldn’t get her to start no matter what they did. Just when they were beginning to despair of ever getting raftwood for Jedi and of saving King Treevine’s son, Amanda glimpsed a hint of blue through the branches. “That must be Pessimist Pond,” she suggested as they dragged the horse to the edge for a rest.

Like any MCCers on a hot day, they couldn’t resist sticking their heads in the cool pond. As Amanda reached into the water to brace herself, her hand caught on something small and hard and sharp. When she brought it to the surface they could see that it was an oyster and, curious, they set in on the ground before them. It began to grow until it was as large as Konnar. It opened and a woman stepped out. “Son of a biscuit, I’ve been in there a long time!” the Lady of the Oyster stated. “Thank you for freeing me. But however did you get to this pond? The forests have been impassable for ages!” Konnar quickly filled her in on their battle with the Sap Spouters and the Vile Vines, and explained that now they were trying to get some raftwood. Overjoyed that the forests were once again safe to roam, the Lady of the Oyster pulled out a beaver saw and offered to help Amanda and Konnar cut down some raftwood. Soon their cart was full of wood and Konnar, Amanda, Nibbles, and two refreshed horses waved goodbye to the Lady of the Oyster. “I guess we should change the name to Positive Pond now,” Amanda joked.

They headed in what was, according to nibbles, the direction of the Cavernous Caves. He said they would have to pass along the Treacherous Trail to reach the base of the Menacing Mountains. After an hour or more of riding, they barely seemed to be getting any closer to the mountain base. They decided to take a small side trail, figuring it might lead them where they wanted to go since they weren’t having much luck on their current path. After several grueling switchbacks, they came to a small cabin. They approached cautiously, wondering who would live so far into the woods. Amanda took a deep breath and rapped smartly on the door. They waited. No answer. All they could hear was a faint eerie creaking noise.

Konnar knocked again and then slowly pushed the door open. He and Amanda crept inside and followed the noise down a short hallway. There they could see an old woman with flowing red locks sitting in a rocking chair and knitting. “Lord Almighty, how did you two children get all the way up here? Your dogs must be barkin’!” she exclaimed. Konnar explained that they had horses from King Treevine and asked what the marvelous smell emanating from the kitchen was. “Oh that’s just one of Granny Sahar’s thrice-baked pies,” answered, presumably, Granny Sahar. “Sometimes I leave them for this nice boy who lives in the Cavernous Caves. He’s always so sad because he cannot build a raft.” Amanda and Konnar exchanged hopeful glances as Amanda wondered, “That wouldn’t be Jedi, who swings on trees and sleeps on a dolmar, would it?” “Why yes, I think so. What do you want with the poor boy?” Granny Sahar inquired. “We have defeated the Sap Spouters and Vile Vines to bring him raftwood,” Amanda answered. “Can you tell us how to reach the Cavernous Caves?”

“Alright… I suppose I can help you. But first you must prove your worthiness by solving a problem of mine.” Here we go again, Konnar and Amanda thought, but they put on happy smiles and said, “Of course.” Granny Sahar explained that small animals kept getting into her garden. She instructed Konnar and Amanda to build something to keep the wildlife where they were supposed to be. “No problem,” Konnar told her. “We happen to have quite a bit of experience with fences.” Granny Sahar told them to use anything they could find in the old tool shed out back, and the two MCCers quickly put up a sturdy jackleg fence to protect the vegetables. When Granny Sahar saw their handiwork she agreed to accompany them up the Treacherous Trail towards the Cavernous Caves. She wanted to bring Jedi one of her coveted thrice-baked pies.

Konnar and Amanda rode their white mares but there was not a third horse for Granny Sahar. They had to bungee her in in the back of the cart with the raftwood and Nibbles. At first when Nibbles poked his head out from between two pieces of wood Granny Sahar shrieked and exclaimed, “I don’t like it!” Once Nibbles introduced himself and explained his role in the adventure, however, Granny Sahar warmed up considerably. The two became fast friends, chatting intermittently throughout the journey.

They followed the windy path, thick with vegetation. The white mares began to tire and to have trouble on the narrow trail. Nibbles started to hear strange noises coming from the treetops. The next thing they knew he was shouting, “Look out—it’s the Malicious Monkeys!” A group of three dark simians dropped out of the canopy and were soon followed by others. They swooped down and deftly snatched Konnar and Amanda’s gleaming hardhats. A second group swung down on some branches and nabbed the golden loppers. On their return swing they grabbed Granny Sahar’s thrice-baked pie right out of her hands. Thinking quickly while trying to hold on to everything of value not already stolen by the Malicious Monkeys, Amanda shouted, “Konnar, open your daypack!” Realizing the plan, Konnar reached into his backpack and withdrew what would turn out to be the ultimate monkey weapon: a four day old peanut butter and banana sandwich.

As soon as the monkeys caught sight of this delectable treasure, they swarmed for the attack. One daring monkey jumped onto Konnar’s horse and snatched the sandwich, screeching in excitement. He leaped off the white mare and went to devour the loot with his companions. Within minutes every last Malicious Monkey was lying flat on his or her back, whimpering in gastrointestinal pain. Konnar and Amanda hurriedly reclaimed all the stolen items (except, of course, for Granny Sahar’s thrice-baked pie).

Belongings recovered, the group continued on its way up the Treacherous Trail. It began to rain and then to pour, soaking them through as the wind dashed the precipitation into every crack in their well-worn raingear. By the time they reached the Cavernous Caves they were tired, wet, and quite cranky. They huddled in the large opening to what appeared to be a vast network of passages. “Hello? Master Jedi? We have traveled far to bring you raftwood,” Konnar shouted into the dark recesses. A faint echo of his words was the only reply, though Granny Sahar assured them that this was the right cave. In the meantime, they busied themselves with attempting to make a fire. After twenty minutes of fruitless efforts as lighting sodden logs and a spent box of matches, the group was getting extremely frustrated. After a particularly ridiculous attempt, Amanda had had it. “Mother’s fudge!” she roared. The others froze in stunned silence.

Suddenly, from the very depths of the Cavernous Caves came a growling voice, “Who dares to enter my home, awaken me from my sleep on the dolmar, and steal my line?” it thundered. A figure emerged from the shadows and Amanda addressed it with as much calmness and respect as she could muster, under the circumstances. “Master Jedi sir? We have battled the Sap Spouters and Vile Vines. We have freed the Lady of the Oyster and met Granny Sahar. We bring you the finest raftwood in all of the land in the hopes that you might tell us the way to the Blithering Bandits’ hideout. We want to rescue King Treevine’s son, Grass-Shoot.” “Did you say raftwood?!” Jedi’s eyes grew wide and he looked around hopefully. “Why yes, I’m only sorry those darned Malicious Monkeys stole my thrice-baked pie,” interjected Granny Sahar. “Raftwood! Most excellent!” Jedi yelled.

With the exciting news, Jedi grew ecstatic and agreed to help Konnar and Amanda with whatever they needed. They decided that a fire was a good first order of business. Jedi quickly assembled and lit a pile of kindling. He coaxed the flame into a roaring fire using a magical technique that he called the “diamond of power.” As they began to feel warm again and to dry off, their mood improved. As their spirits lifted, so did the storm. The last traces of rainclouds dissipated as Jedi excitedly rambled off plans for his raft. Before he ran off to the lake, he told Amanda and Konnar the way to the Blithering Bandits’ hideout. “It lies in the Horrible Hills at the end of the Perilous Path. To get there you will have to be strong, brave, and not a little ingenious. You must cross the Roaring Rapids, traverse the Facetious Fields, and scale the Malevolent Mudslide.”

Konnar and Amanda thanked Jedi and said farewell to Granny Sahar and Nibbles who had decided to stay at the Cavernous Caves for a while. They set out on their white mares towards the beginning of the Perilous Path. They hadn’t been riding more than fifteen minutes when they heard a distant rushing sound of water flowing over rocks. They urged the horses on and after a few minutes they rounded a corner to find the Roaring Rapids. The river poured down from the hills and raged across boulders, tossing up a fine mist.

Konnar and Amanda immediately realized that this was the end of the line for their faithful rides. They sent the mares back down the trail with a note for Jedi and Granny Sahar, knowing they would be well taken care of for the remainder of the journey. They looked around, searching for a place to cross the rapids. They saw no logs big enough to build a bridge, and no place where the wall of water wouldn’t sweep them off the rocks. Finally, half a mile along the bank, Konnar spotted a thin young tree. Perhaps drawing inspiration from Jedi, he tested the resiliency of the tree by pulling it back. When he released it, it snapped forward with a promising spring. Realizing what he was thinking, Amanda hastened to scramble behind some brush far enough away that she wouldn’t be taken out if something went horribly awry.

Konnar slowly worked his way along the tree, bending it away from the river as he did so. Just when it appeared to be on the edge of snapping in half, he grasped it tightly and released the tension I his muscles. The tree whipped forward, dragging Konnar with it. It flung him up and out over the edge of the bank. He soared through the air only briefly before he came down with a resounding “thud” above the Roaring Rapids. “I’m ok,” he grunted, raising his head to look around. A quick investigation revealed that he had landed on an invisible bridge spanning the Roaring Rapids. Amanda walked briskly past Konnar and reached the other side unharmed.

They continued along the Perilous Path, following its winding process to the edge of a large meadow. All kinds of wildflowers blanketed the ground, stretching as far as the eye could see. Upon closer inspection, there appeared to be some 47 different paths leading through the flowers. Having no particular instructions, Amanda and Konnar picked one at random. After an hour of wandering down continuously branching trails, Konnar turned to the flowers themselves and, exasperated, said, “Where are we suppose to go?” To his and Amanda’s surprise, the flora responded. “That way!’ “This way!” “Either way!” they twittered, giggling as more paths appeared, criss-crossing the meadow. Soon Konnar had had it with the teasing plants. He unclipped the golden loppers from his pack and aggressively beheaded several blossoms directly in front of him. Amanda gasped but the flowers re-grew almost instantly. They created yet another, even more complicated, maze of trails in revenge. Completely exasperated, Konnar grabbed his Thunder sword and slashed at the flowers, finally opening a path. In this way Konnar and Amanda successfully blazed a trail through the Facetious Fields.

“Awesome—one more atrociously alliterative obstacle to tackle before we get to the hideout,” Amanda said. They didn’t have to wait long. They came to the base of the Horrible Hills and looked up towards the top. From where they stood they could see a towering mess of mud. Not ones to be frightened of a little dirt, they started up the Malevolent Mudslide. However, they couldn’t take three steps before sliding backwards. Soon they were covered head-to-toe in a thick coat of slimy mud. They paused to assess the situation. There were trees spaced along the side of the path, but not close enough that they could use them to pull themselves along. They were about to take a fifteen minute break to regroup when, in a flash of inspiration, Amanda pulled out her bow and arrow. She tied the end of Konnar’s yellow twine to an arrow and took aim at the top of the hill. She released the arrow and it swerved past a couple of the nearest trees, zigzagged around a large boulder, and then struck the front of a huge pine at the peak of the hill. “Well, it might not go straight, but it gets the job done,” Amanda quipped. She and Konnar deftly pulled themselves up the Malevolent Mudslide to the crest of the Horrible Hills.

From the top of the hill they could see the Blithering Bandits in their camp. Grass-Shoot was in a bamboo cage in the center of a ring of tents. Amanda and Konnar quickly concocted a plan. Konnar rushed down the hill, screaming and wielding his Thunder sword. He began battling his way through crowds of bandits. From her vantage point atop the hill, Amanda shot arrow after arrow down into the camp. The red arrows shot flames around them upon impact and the orange ones emitted deafening thunderclaps. Yellow arrows directed bolts of lightning to their target, while green arrows splashed acid. Blue arrows froze whatever they hit, immobilizing it in ice, and purple arrows resulted in clouds of noxious gas. Naturally, Konnar had his PPE to protect him from the negative effects of Amanda’s attacks.

Konnar and Amanda’s dual assault took out many Blithering Bandits. However, the bandits had a reserve from which they replenished their forces. Amanda and Konnar were just beginning to worry when two men emerged from the sides of the camp. They were both wearing MCC gear and they jumped right into the heart of the conflict. One carried a full cubie on his back with an unlimited supply of water. He sent great waves towards groups of bandits, washing them out of his path. The other ran around shouting at the bandits. He spoke gibberish to drive them mad—words such as “joshuling” With the help of these two MCC heroes, Amanda and Konnar defeated enough of the Blithering Bandits that the rest of them agreed to surrender.

Konnar and Amanda caught up to the unnamed med and thanked them for their assistance. They only said they worked for the higher-ups and that they had others to help before they said goodbye. Konnar and Amanda led the leaders of the Blithering Bandits, along with Grass-Shoot, back to the castle to see King Treevine. They picked up their white mares from Granny Sahar and Jedi on the way. The King was overjoyed to have his son back and again asked if there was anything he could do for Amanda and Konnar. The two looked at each other and then, in true MCC fashion, Konnar said, “Well, we’d like to find a way back to our crew. And also, we’d really like somewhere to take a shower or wash off.”

“Well, I suppose you have earned about four days off,” the King mused, “Though our realm has many problems and we hope to see you back here soon.” King Treevine told them that he would allow them to use his Sacred Springs to bathe. They were usually reserved for members of the royal family only, but since they had saved Grass-Shoot… He led them to the waters. Konnar and Amanda changed into their sandals and entered the Sacred Springs in their underwear from opposite sides of the shelter of bushes. They decided to dunk their heads under the chilly water at the same time. Konnar counted to three and they quickly dipped beneath the surface of the Sacred Springs.

When the brought their heads back up, they were in a different lake by the side of a partially cleared trail. All of their clothes and old gear were piled by the side. They got out, shook the water out of their hair, and dressed. They picked up their regular tools and lopped their way back to camp where they shared the story of their adventures.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Take nothing for granted. Not one blessed, cool mountain day or one hellish, desert day or one sweaty, stinky, hiking companion. It is all a gift.
—CINDY ROSS, Journey on the Crest, 1987