When I was seventeen I participated in my organizations first Alaskan backpacking expedition, forty two days in the furthest north mountain range in the world. It was forty two days of only seeing my group, a float plane pilot, and two days in a Nunavut community. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, the isolation, the sheer length of our endeavor, the mosquitoes, coming face to face with a well fed Grizzly… When I look back on it, almost nine years later, I don’t remember the stress, or the homesickness, I remember the most rugged, beautiful, amazing experience of my life.
Immediately after returning home, I began making plans for thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. I have wanted to do it since I was five, and my first wilderness experience in the Boundary Waters. However, as my ideals confronted reality, my AT plans became week long backpacking trips around my new home in Bozeman. I came to accept that my “Great Alaskan Adventure” will probably be the most remote, intense wilderness experience of my life.
Then came the summer of 2009; I was working in an unrewarding, high paying job. I took a couple weeks off in the end of May and drove to the southwest. After spending too much time in Las Vegas, I decided to get in my car and I drove to Yosemite for the first time.
I was out of my car in Yosemite for about one hour.
When telling this trip’s story to friends I either omit that part, or justify it by saying I needed to be in San Francisco the next day. The truth is I had totally lost connection with what I used to love. I was also too out of shape to enjoy hiking in the mountains. I went to San Francisco, caught a giants game, then started driving home up to Sacramento. I caught the sunset at Lake Tahoe. I was overwhelmed. I was saddened, that I had never been to such a beautiful place so close to Bozeman, and that I no longer did what I used to find so important and fulfilling.
When we were in Alaska we flew up from Minneapolis with a female group from a competing program. They where going to the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve we were going to Gates of the Arctic. They executed the long practiced tradition of “stealthing”, that is hiding stuff in our food or group gear that we won’t find until we are in the wilderness and cannot get rid of it. They hid about 8 different colors of nail polish. We had a quote that kept getting repeated throughout our trip, “Through challenge I find growth, Through growth I find myself” . We ended up using that nail polish to paint our bear proof canisters. That quote ended up on one of them, along with our addendum Through Uno we waste time.
I was sitting on the shore of Lake Tahoe, remembering that quote, and realized that I needed to effect positive change in my life. I drove the last eight hours or so to Bozeman while making grandiose AT and PCT plans, that had no root in reality. I finally told myself that at least when I got home I would look in to outdoor jobs and apply to at least one. So in that sleep deprived morning around 6 am I found MCC on the internet and filled out an application. When I woke up that afternoon I had an email from Jen asking for an interview time, and a day or two later I was hired.
I spent last summer working and living in the mountains. I was working an eight on six off Yellowstone schedule. Every free day I had, I spent on backpacking trips in the Beartooths, Wind Rivers, and Tetons. The first month or so was hard for me, my body was not in shape for the demands I was placing on it. But I was still mentally tough and I got through it. I went from getting heat cramps every day, to actually enjoying the ten hour work day and spent the rest of the season in a very pure form of happiness.
I have come a long way since that late night in Tahoe. I again get to participate in a first for a program. I am going to be co-leading Greater Yellowstone’s first wilderness immersion crew. We are going into the Frank Church Wilderness in Idaho, which is the biggest wilderness unit in the lower 48. We will be out for 70 days, off for a week and then back in for 56 more. After this summer, the longest trip of my life will barely make the podium.
After finding a comfort again with the wilderness, MCC has given me a way to connect again with the outdoors. My emotions have ranged from excited, to terrified, and everything in between. The list of things to do is piling up and the amount of time to accomplish it is now under a month. But I have a solid foundation and an amazing co-leader.
I don’t expect our season to be smooth or easy. In fact I expect conflict, hot weather, and long days. But the amazing thing is when you go into something knowing it will be hard, and you do it anyways, the rewards will be immense.
It is one of my goals to document our season through a crew blog with as many voices as want to participate. Although it will be hand written, and the mailed entries won’t make it on the internet for months, I think it will be valuable both as a reflection tool for us, and as a way to find the good in every situation.
With more to follow soon(ish)
No comments:
Post a Comment