Before I came out to Montana, I told myself over and over that I was not joining the MCC to make friends. I was here to work hard in a field I hoped to make my career, and to develop personally as well as professionally. I intended to focus the whole of my energy on the work at hand while doing something I loved- living in backcountry while swinging a pulaski. Working closely with crewmembers was a consequence of this work, and becoming close to them was necessary to effectively complete the projects before me. It didn't take two people to hold an ax.
When I finally met my fellow crewmembers, I was intimidated- I knew that they had come out here for the same reasons; to develop commitment, personal and professional discipline, to grow as individuals. They didn't need me, I- like the pulaski- was a tool for building trails, for development and preservation. I was intimidated simply by the fact that they were here to work- because I had never worked as hard as I expected my crewmembers would be working, and I would have to match my strength to theirs. I was scared that I would be unable to do this, and that I would be alone in the woods, trying to figure out how to be as strong as these people.
However, my outlook changed once I learned the story of the pulaski tool. Pulaski was a wilderness firefighter whose crew had been caught in such an intense fire that they had to retreat to a cave, with no reliable exit through the burning woods. He had to not only held his crew at gunpoint in the cave to keep them safe, but he had to invent a tool in order to make a safe passage for himself and his crew. It was in the very fire that held them captive in which he forged the tool to take them to safety.
I heard this and immediately I saw that the people surrounding me, though I did not yet know them, were the closest friends I had. I knew that beyond being tools to my development, they were the support system and instruments of learning that I would use to not only build trails, but connections with my community. In fact, they were my community. They had, indeed, joined the MCC for the same reasons I had- to do a service, to relinquish ego and selfish pride and to work. No, they did not need me to do the work, but without me, the work would be nearly impossible, impassable. I did not need them- but if I wanted to become a good worker, an effective citizen and community member, I needed a community and fellow citizens. We all came here to do work- and we all came here to work together.
I knew that we were here now to build the paths that would lead us to each other. We would be developing trails to our futures, and pathways into each others lives, as both comrades in arms for preservation, but also the very teachers who would help me learn who I was, by being the mirror, the example, the citizens whose common goals would bring us together tighter than friends. The fires of apathy and fear had sequestered us together, and we were now forced to forge the tools to help each other find the path. Without this fear, without this necessity, we would have never found each other, we would never learn, never grow as individuals, and escape the darkness of uncertainty. We were all here to do the same work, and without one another, this work can not get done. Without the bond of crewmembers, we cannot grow as individuals. It is in the challenge and support of these individuals that I would find the strength to do this work. Without their example, without their knowledge, I would not be able to find my path, because it is the same path we are all on. One of us has the flashlight, one has the batteries, one has the pulaski, another, the mcloud. It is in darkness and fire that we found each other, and it is as a result of this darkness and fire we are forced to come together to build the path. And it is this common path, this common journey that will build a more valuable connection than the connection to ourselves- it is in the compassion to ourselves that we decide to let go of fear and come together and find compassion for others.
-H Israel Ziskind, MCC Corpsmember 2010
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